One day you will die, accept this fact and live

I have felt a little odd lately, emotionally silly,  full of self pity.  I guess the word I would use is maudlin.  I haven’t written, which is always alarming.  I have been pushing words around my screen like cold brussel sprouts, unable and unwilling to finish a dozen pieces now sitting in my draft folder. Wondering, like a spoiled child, if writing a blog was worth the effort.  I have had terrible nightmares which have woken me up with a beating heart and the need to search their meaning in obscure dream books.

 I have wondered about the world without me in it, a future without my husband by my side.  I have looked at my naked body after a shower and considered how long it will continue to work.  I have worried about my final years, my children, my extended family.

 I was told about a young boy, my son’s age, who has just died from a heart attack.  I could not think properly about anything else for the rest of the day. Continue reading “Advice Safe” →

This says it all