Campfire Story

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My children are always complaining that I am weird and not like other mums.  I am always under strict instructions to be normal when their friends visit our house.  I do not know how to be anyone other than myself, so was asking my son for clarification over a game of table tennis the other night.  He said, put the boxing gloves down and use the bat instead and I will tell you.  Basically he thinks that I am immature, talk too much, forget things all the time and am old.  Pretty standard I would have thought.  It soon became apparent that there are many things that annoy and embarrass my children.  Here are just 10 of them.

10 reasons my children think I am crazy and annoying and the reasons I gave for doing them.

I.  I find things and bring them home to show and tell, then do not understand that the children do not share my enthusiasm.  They find it annoying when I keep saying. “Look at this, what do you think it was used for?” TEACHING

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So what do you think this was used for?

2. I make them taste or smell different foods.  This is particularly annoying when they have given in before, tasted, know they do not like it and I keep saying, “go on just try it, just this once, you might like it”.  Fresh coriander and fish sauce came up. EXPANDING HORIZONS

3. Sticking or drawing weird stuff on my walls. EXPRESSION

4. Labeling my sheets and towels.  This does look crazy old woman on the outside but don’t you just hate it when you are making the bed, have wrestled three corners and it becomes apparent that you have the double, not the king sheet. Right? PROBLEM SOLVING

5.  Sometimes I pretend that I am a cat, this is acceptable if we are on our own only.  Meow. ACCEPTANCE OF OTHERS

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What do you think this is?

6. Being frightened and jumping at a very loud noise, even if I know the noise is coming.  Like mum, I am going to pop this balloon now.  OK. POP. Ahhhhh. TOLERANCE

7. Holding clothes up in the shop, on their hangers, pushing it onto their backs and saying do you think this will fit? CARING

8. Asking what they want for dinner, ignoring it and making something with pork. LIFE’S BALANCE


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Do you know what these were used for?


9.Not knowing where I am going, not using a map or asking anyone. ADVENTURE

10. DISCOVERY: Poking things.  trying to touch the dog’s tongue when he yawns.  Holding your finger by somebodies face when they are looking the other way so you poke them when they look back. Asking what’s that, poke, before it has dried, set or been explained. Actually that is weird and has got me in lots or trouble.

Is anybody out there listening to me??

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