Campfire Story

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Farting in front of your boyfriend – the last taboo

I think I am fairly safe in saying that there does exist, a farting etiquette.

  • Never fart at work.  It is an unspoken rule that female workers go to the toilet to fart and most gents will also try to hold it in long enough to make it to the toilet. Even if the bowl amplifies everything to an H-bomb status on the Richter scale, you can leave the cubicle knowing nobody will say anything.  In fact, nobody will even look at you.   Roguish men usually just let them go silently, turning it into a game of gas poker.  If they get caught they will usually grin, accept the title of dirty pig and carry on or encourage others to try and beat it.
  • Never fart at anyone on purpose, you could get arrested.  Do not believe me? hit here.
  • Never fart in a lift, there is nowhere to hide.  If it sounds like ripping Velcro apart, everyone else will know that was you.  If you manage a silent release then everyone will know it was you, as you will be the only one looking at your feet.  Either way, there is no walking away from it.
  • Never fart in front of your in laws.  Ever.
  • Never fart in front of your grandparents.
  • Never fart in front of your boyfriend.

If you accidentally let one go and do not own up immediately, there are a number of strategies. Continue reading “Campfire Story”