Changing My Image

July 15, 2017July 25, 2017 ~ crowdedmind ~ 5 Comments

Day Two – I have to audit myself.

Today’s task: audit your brand — look at all the ways your blog communicates to visitors to make sure it’s consistent and focused — and make one update to reinforce your brand.

Oh dear, it looks tricky and scary, but these guys know what they are doing, so I spent six hours today, changing themes. updating widgets, footers and headers and generally looking at this site, and the sites of those I admire. It appears my theme was not longer being used – sad face- Guess what I chose another theme, it is Penscratch 2, I was using Penscratch 1. Hahahaha , I had no idea what I was already using, I hit the LIVE button and the sky fell in. I lost all my custom settings.

Continue reading “Changing My Image” →

Setting Goals

July 14, 2017July 25, 2017 ~ crowdedmind ~ 3 Comments

A Course On Blogging

I am recovering, I have two weeks off. I have to rest my body but my mind does not need to or want to be still. I started to write here, late 2015, in part because people said I should, apparently, I am a great raconteur, partly because I wanted my children to listen to me, partly because I am lazy and wanted to put all the recipes people ask me for in one place. Mostly I write because there is so much inside me that needs to come out.

It is so easy for me to write, I mean to find content. I write linearly, as I think, for the most part, rarely going back over my words to edit. Once made, the marks stay. I am not sure if I use the bricks we learnt at school metaphors, similes, personification, imagery, hyperbole, and alliteration, were there more? I just write. No themes, no goals, no expectations, I just sit down and start typing, it is a case of who is first in the queue, pushing at the barrier to be heard. This has always happened, I just keep my mess in one place now.

I do not follow others but want them to follow me??

Continue reading “Setting Goals” →

Campfire stories

July 1, 2017July 1, 2017 ~ crowdedmind ~ Leave a comment

I must resist the gusts and stand tall, my roots are strong.

I am wide awake in the early hours of a cold and windy Saturday morning. My already fragmented slumber, pierced by the sound of my mobile phone announcing a text. A constant companion, my phone is usually in my pocket all day, in case some foul event descends upon one of my beloved. I don’t know how my mum coped without this constant reassurance that if one of her children or husband were involved in something dreadful, she would know one nanosecond later. Image result for Hi

During the day at work, when my phone is in my pocket, I rarely hear the requests, hi and where are you , yet when it is on the kitchen bench or as it was tonight under a pillow on the sofa, meters away from my body, its boingy happy sound fills the whole house. Tonight it made me jump out of bed and stumble along the hall, arms outstretched like one of the zombie dead. I read the message through blinking, bloodshot eyes, my son, is on another continent, but is happy and doing well. Yay, I run back and tell my husband who has the enviable knack of listening, making the right reply, rolling over and resuming his sleep within, I would say less than a minute.

Continue reading “Campfire stories” →

Campfire Stories

June 25, 2017July 17, 2017 ~ crowdedmind ~ 2 Comments

Facing the future in style

There is a dead fly in my sink, it has been there for two days now, it’s tiny glassy wings stuck to the stainless steel, legs up, comically, like it is pretending, waiting for a friend to zzzzzzzzzzzz past so it can say boo. My daughter is in her bedroom deciding where her tattoo is going to be placed next Friday. I am invited, periodically, to view pieces of skin with photocopies of cat’s heads in various positions and moved degree by degree. My input is neither wanted nor needed, the cat head will settle in the perfect spot in black and white splendour, announcing to the word that its canvas is, young, firm and adventurous. I pull the top of my yoga pants out slightly and look at my own piece of ink. Was I ever that young, firm and free?

Continue reading “Campfire Stories” →

Campfire stories

June 10, 2017July 15, 2017 ~ crowdedmind ~ 3 Comments

cropped-win-a-new-cookbook-from-celebrity-chef-peter-gordon-and-new-zealand-lamb-e1497059255782.png

Meeting a hero – kids I hope you get to meet one of yours.

The stars aligned, after two years of trying, the wonderful Mrs R Sehji, responsible for food technology at Westlake Boys, arranged for top chef Peter Gordon to visit the school. Now I am not normally the gushy fangirl type, particularly in the personality chef world, but I was beside myself at the announcement. Not all were so impressed however and my spontaneous bursts of, OMG Peter Gordon is coming; I love his food, have you heard about Peter Gordon’s visit? drew blanks. My excitement continued with demanding questions as I handed my captors their lunch; are you looking forward to hearing what Peter Gordon has to say? Have you got his latest book? All this with my general jumping up and down on the spot with fast hand clapping was met, mostly with bewilderment and always with a suspicion that I needed more sleep. Continue reading “Campfire stories” →

Campfire Story

January 12, 2016July 17, 2017 ~ crowdedmind ~ Leave a comment

Farting in front of your boyfriend – the last taboo

I think I am fairly safe in saying that there does exist, a farting etiquette.

Never fart at work. It is an unspoken rule that female workers go to the toilet to fart and most gents will also try to hold it in long enough to make it to the toilet. Even if the bowl amplifies everything to an H-bomb status on the Richter scale, you can leave the cubicle knowing nobody will say anything. In fact, nobody will even look at you. Roguish men usually just let them go silently, turning it into a game of gas poker. If they get caught they will usually grin, accept the title of dirty pig and carry on or encourage others to try and beat it.
Never fart at anyone on purpose, you could get arrested. Do not believe me? hit here.
Never fart in a lift, there is nowhere to hide. If it sounds like ripping Velcro apart, everyone else will know that was you. If you manage a silent release then everyone will know it was you, as you will be the only one looking at your feet. Either way, there is no walking away from it.
Never fart in front of your in laws. Ever.
Never fart in front of your grandparents.
Never fart in front of your boyfriend.

If you accidentally let one go and do not own up immediately, there are a number of strategies. Continue reading “Campfire Story” →

Campfire Story

December 9, 2015January 13, 2016 ~ crowdedmind ~ 2 Comments

When is netball not netball – when it’s social!

I was watching my son compete at the intermediate school athletics, silently willing him to win at his events, but practising a nonchalant air. A conversation began between myself and another mum. We wandered through the normal, homework, friends and siblings conversations with varying degrees of attention, as each son’s event came and went. I was incredibly impressed to learn, that she both organised and played, in a social netball league and heard myself saying that I would like to play a team sport.

A couple of months later I answered a call from said mum.

She announced brightly, “I have a place in my netball team if you are still keen?”

” I haven’t played for 30 years, I excused myself.”

Continue reading “Campfire Story” →

Campfire story

December 2, 2015January 13, 2016 ~ crowdedmind ~ Leave a comment

Snails are amazing they breathe with lungs, just like we do.

Never, ever put correction fluid on a snail’s shell.

My daughter was idly firing facts at me this morning, as I was trying to find something under my sink. A ping pong conversation started with my daughter saying.

“Strawberries,”….. muffled sounds as I reached in further……” not proper fruits, but bananas and pumpkins are.”

I replied, “What?” and so the conversation continued.

“Yeah, polar bears actually have black skin, and they are covered in translucent, hollow hairs.”

“Oh”

“It is believed Einstein died a virgin.”

“Pardon….Ummm, have you seen the cloth I clean the floor with?”

“If you are in a room with 25 other people, there is a fifty percent chance that you will share your birthday with one of them”

“How many people? Have you seen that green cloth?” I asked again, she ignored me and continued.

“The average person walks the equivalent of five times around the world in a lifetime.”

“Where are you getting this stuff from? How can a pumpkin be a fruit, that’s messed up my five a day.”

“From this site I follow. Garden snails have up to 14,175 teeth!”

I am too slow to answer.

“Sharks have no swim bladder so they have to keep moving or they will die.”

At last I catch up. “What do you mean snails have teeth?” I had given up looking for the cloth and was channeling sponge, trying to catch any piece of information. I was thinking that if only one of these facts went in, I could have an enlightened conversation at some point in the future. Would you like another strawberry? You know or course; they are not a fruit, botanically speaking. Continue reading “Campfire story” →

Campfire Story

November 30, 2015December 7, 2015 ~ crowdedmind ~ Leave a comment

MY CHILDREN THINK I AM WEIRD.

My children are always complaining that I am weird and not like other mums. I am always under strict instructions to be normal when their friends visit our house. I do not know how to be anyone other than myself, so was asking my son for clarification over a game of table tennis the other night. He said, put the boxing gloves down and use the bat instead and I will tell you. Basically he thinks that I am immature, talk too much, forget things all the time and am old. Pretty standard I would have thought. It soon became apparent that there are many things that annoy and embarrass my children. Here are just 10 of them.

10 reasons my children think I am crazy and annoying and the reasons I gave for doing them. Continue reading “Campfire Story” →

Campfire Story

November 25, 2015January 13, 2016 ~ crowdedmind ~ Leave a comment

Lego men are better than children

I love Lego men and they can be found all over my house. Recently my daughter knocked one off the shelf whilst reaching for one of my C.D’s and asked why I had them everywhere, they were annoying, childish and did not add anything.

Hmmmmm. Well