Campfire Stories

 

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My house feels too Big

I woke up this morning and my house felt quite big on me.   The rooms are hanging loosely,  and the bathroom definitely does not feel as tight as it used to.  I’m thinking I might have to go down a size soon.

Life has a beautiful symmetry; a relentless forward motion that can be measured by the spaces we occupy and the clothes we wear.  Growing up, I was given a little space and was allowed to wear anything I liked, as long as it kept me warm, dry or cool.  I could also be a cat or a princess if I wanted too. As an adolescent, I shared a big space with my family,  became more protective of my one, private piece of that space and wore lots of black. I tried to look the same as everyone else but wanted to be seen.  This space became too small,  as a young woman, I bought my own.  I could not afford to live in it, so others paid me for that privilege.  I wore tight clothes with matching shoes and earrings. I went out at night on high heels showing skin.  I could be anything I wanted to, my space infinite.

I could be anything I wanted to

As a married woman, my space merged and was small and cute with lavender and roses.  I wore tailored clothes and stayed in at night, covering my skin in soft comfortable fabric, thick socks on my feet. Soon I wanted more space and I had to work hard for it,  had to shape it into what I wanted.  I wore lots of old, baggy clothes that got covered in splats and spills. I brought others in to share my space and let them choose clothes that kept them warm dry or cool, sometimes they were fairies or super heroes. Now in mid life, I share the biggest space I have ever had with family again.  I wear looser clothes and sensible shoes but  I also have trainers and stretchy fabric that covers my legs. I go out at night again, but do not show any skin if I can help it, sometimes, my shoes have heels. I have been many things here, a princess and a cat, but I think it’s time to find another space.  I want less.

But I am not sure, I have not been here before, things have slowed down so I have more time to think.  Do you simply reverse, maybe back to the lavender and cute, then on into just a piece of space in a larger one? Will I have to wear lots of black again and look like everyone else and be sad because I can not be seen?  That frightens me.  I do not know, perhaps I will stay here, curl up in a sunny spot and be a cat. Meow.   But……………….

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No.  There are spaces out there that I have never seen.  I am going to find them.  I can be anything I want to be again.   I have a suitcase full of clothes and feet that can take me anywhere in high heels or slippers. My space is infinite.

Is anybody out there listening to me??

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